Im a very selfish person. If youre mine, youre mine. you’re lips are only mine to kiss, your eyes are mine to look at when I fall asleep, your heart is mine to cherish for the rest of my life. Thats just how I am.
"I’m sorry I wasn’t enough of a reason for you to stay."
"I’ll tell you
To leave me
When you do."
"Sometimes I regret being nice, apologizing when I didn’t do anything wrong, and for making unworthy people a priority in my life"
1. When he starts distancing himself from you, do not restring bridges with your own sinew. You will find yourself two months later coming unraveled, coming undone. You will find he has left you in the places he has visited and in the hair of the girls he has imagined kissing. You will find yourself splatterpainted on the walls where while drunk he confessed all of your secrets to his college friends. You will be crying on the floor, surrounded by the parts of you he has stepped on, and he will look you in the eyes and ask you to clean up the mess.
2. When she cannot get through the words “I love you” without her eyes flicking to the side or her tongue slurring or her mouth pressing in at the edges: do not assume it is your fault. Do not think that you have yet again pushed away someone amazing. You have not. Sometimes people knock on their bones and find themselves hollow. You were the only way they felt momentarily whole, do not empty yourself to fill up their soul. Do not shatter into pieces trying to perfect yourself. You do not need to be glass to turn light into rainbows. You are a person, not their prism.
3. Do not let them hold you against their body if you know they do not cherish every second they are in contact with your skin. I know it feels as if you are breaking your own spine, but tear yourself away from them. Know that the something beautiful you had was already fading. Know that in the end you did the only thing you could. Sometimes people grow apart. Even trees do it.
4. Cry. Want them back.
5. Cry. Do not take them back.
6. In the following months, you will rediscover what it means to be alone. You will sit and stare at a ceiling and hate yourself and hate the world and cry about everything because everything hurts. You will wonder if it could have gotten better if you’d just been a little different, if the timing had worked out, if if if. Do not worry about this. Nothing would have changed the reality that the person you were in love with had stopped loving you somewhere along the line, whether it was in the middle of a conversation or while driving under a bridge or when they made eye contact with someone new and wonderful. It doesn’t matter. Stop wasting your time on them. You don’t need to stop your story just because they are no longer a main character. Do not take back what has already poisoned you. Instead start healing and start healing soon.
7. Take yourself back. Bring out the mop, the broom, the magic wand. Glue where needs to be glued, put up new paint, turn off the lights in places that are too hot to touch. Touch your toes. Touch your hair. Touch a dog. Touch the grass, touch the telephone, do not call him. Touch base with your mom. Touch another person with no love in your heart, touch another person and mean every second of it. Believe in yourself even if you don’t believe in love. It’s okay. There is nothing wrong with being alone. You are the best company you’ll ever know. It’s okay. It’s okay. You’re gonna be okay and none of this was ever your fault. Sometimes people just fall out of love. It’s okay. It’s okay. You’ll one day discover you didn’t need them anyway."
phoenixmackenzie said: what's your best advice on healing a broken heart?
being heartbroken is a strange, desperate feeling. my friend described it as this: when you end a relationship, you’re left with all these free-wheeling touchy feelies that you don’t know where to direct since they were all just wrapped around one person. you’re going to have to get used to the idea that for a while, you’re going to be running around with all these tender spots. as if your body is an exposed bone. very vulnerable to sunlight. very vulnerable to touch. to wind. to all of it. after i broke up with my last boy-person, for a couple of weeks i felt my body like a little pond. every once in a while a feeling rises to surface for air. a leaf would fall on me and my entire body would ripple. imagine the damage that skipping rocks did. every once in a while something would happen that would wreak havoc on my emotions. a small bird flew to my window one morning and i couldn’t open it up to give the little blue jay some bread. & as if it were feeding time at a fucking koi pond, all the fish flit with their sharp fins to the surface and i was just a watery, sloshy mess of person. the mirage of calm water broke and all of a sudden i was laying on my couch with my face pressed into the cushions’ butt crack with a blanket over my face because i couldn’t take anything at all. i don’t know about you, but when grief comes into my life it brings all of its friends with it. i’m a happy person until i am a mourning widow. the dead husband being nineteen years of existing.
in other words, a bird made me cry.
yo. heartbreak is hard, and you’re talking to someone who gets a kick out of letting herself feel all of the diddly-doos and drops of life. let yourself feel through it. don’t suppress your sadness, your loneliness. learn from it. try to understand that wild creature, those dark horses that are running through you unbridled. let yourself feel through every low so that you can reach the high, and vice versa. be sad, and be okay with being sad over someone, because there will be a moment where you will be walking down the street in a few days or a few weeks, and you’ll see petals strewn underneath all the trees on the sidewalk, and the air will feel like a sweet mouth against your mouth, and you’ll find yourself suddenly grinning with your arms open, and all of your touchy-feelies have returned back to your body, and you will have gained yourself back - after however long you did not belong to yourself - and you’ll realize that you’re whole again, that you’re you again, and that is a breath that will mean so much when it comes.
1. I never got the chance to thank you. So here you go, thank you.
2. I’ll admit that some days I still try to forget that you exist.
3. Oh god I miss you so much I’m going to be sick.
4. I always fell asleep so early. But once you were gone I did nothing nothing nothing nothing but stay up late. You were the reason I was able to sleep.
5. It’s been 5 months and it still hurts as though it happened yesterday.
6. Please stop ignoring me.
7. I thought I was getting better. But I saw you look at me today in the hallway. Oh god don’t look at me don’t look at me don’t look at me.
8. You told my friend the other day that you cared about me. I think you were lying. Is that why you didn’t say it to me instead?
9. A boy walked passed me today that smelled like you. I wasn’t able to concentrate for the rest of the day.
10. Something in you has changed. You used to be kinder than this. Are you okay?"